Saturday, July 16, 2005

coup d'etat in the republic of holtopia



According to sources within the daveberta Ministry of Spies and Plots, a "Palpatine-style" coup d'etat occurred in the Republic of Holtopia this evening.

According to daveberta's Ambassador to Holtopia, Lord Smith Murray, rebel forces loyal to Cucumber Party Leader Hot Datum marched on the capital city with apathetic resistance. Hot Datum's forces were easily able to secure the Althingi and capture the Grand Chancellor.

Rumours are spreading that the President and the ruling oligarchy of the Thermodynamic Party have fled to the exclusive golf resort island of Papuaholtopiau to set up a government in exile.

Rumours are also circulating that Hot Datum's coup against the ruling Thermodynamic Party was spurred from House Party member Harrison Horn's comments: "Okay everyone, hands up all who think that the deception Hot Datum, would look sexy in a cop uniform. I didn't think so."

Dantum may have also received support from rebel logarithms from the Northern provinces, which Holtopia has recently declared war on.

Though these rumours are unsubstantiated and purely circumstantial, Ambassador Murray has denounced the coup as a war against the 'cucumber roots' of Holtopia.

More to come.



UPDATE: More news on the "Crisis in Holtopia" can be found here.

5 comments:

  1. We work like a horse.
    We eat like a pig.
    We like to play chicken.
    You can get someone's goat.
    We can be as slippery as a snake.
    We get dog tired.
    We can be as quiet as a mouse.
    We can be as quick as a cat.
    Some of us are as strong as an ox.
    People try to buffalo others.
    Some are as ugly as a toad.
    We can be as gentle as a lamb.
    Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
    Some of us drink like a fish.
    We can be as proud as a peacock.
    A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
    You can get a frog in your throat.
    We can be a lone wolf.
    But I'm having a whale of a time!

    You have a riveting web log
    and undoubtedly must have
    atypical & quiescent potential
    for your intended readership.
    May I suggest that you do
    everything in your power to
    honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
    Designer/Architect as well
    as your revering audience.

    Please remember to never
    restrict anyone's opportunities
    for ascertaining uninterrupted
    existence for their quintessence.

    There is a time for everything,
    a season for every activity
    under heaven. A time to be
    born and a time to die. A
    time to plant and a time to
    harvest. A time to kill and
    a time to heal. A time to
    tear down and a time to
    rebuild. A time to cry and
    a time to laugh. A time to
    grieve and a time to dance.
    A time to scatter stones
    and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a
    time to turn away. A time to
    search and a time to lose. A
    time to keep and a time to
    throw away. A time to tear
    and a time to mend. A time
    to be quiet and a time to
    speak up. A time to love
    and a time to hate. A time
    for war and a time for peace.

    Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
    Howdy
    Editor
    http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/

    P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
    that the common culture of my youth
    is gone for good. It was hollowed out
    by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
    then splintered beyond hope of repair
    by the emergence of the web-based
    technologies that so maximized and
    facilitated cultural choice as to make
    the broad-based offerings of the old
    mass media look bland and unchallenging
    by comparison."

    'Thought & Humor' by Howdy
    http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
    CyberHumor, CyberThought
    CyberRiddles for your divertissement!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wowza! Indeed.

    I "have a riveting web log
    and undoubtedly must have
    atypical & quiescent potential
    for your intended readership.
    May I suggest that you do
    everything in your power to
    honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
    Designer/Architect as well
    as your revering audience.
    "

    :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. will the execution of dissidents be televised?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dave: Indubitably.

    McBean: The execution of dissidents requires rather a lot of effort. It's unlikely that Holtopia will be able to muster the national will to get off the couch, much less execute anyone. Remember, Holtopians have been governed by the ponderous and lackadaisical Thermodynamic Party for what seems like "a bajillion years." :P

    ReplyDelete